My newsletter is named after a traditional Jewish blessing upon encountering the majesty of a large body of water: “Blessed are you, our eternal G-d, Ruler of the Universe, who made the great sea.” BTS is a free, monthly publication which shares Jewish and non-Jewish approaches to mindful, contemplative living. Some come from from spiritual teachings from the past and the present; others from my Zen practice and Jewish faith. Included here are also some of my own news as well. BTS is a conversation, and I enjoy hearing from and responding to the readers.
American culture is preoccupied with beginnings; exits are viewed negatively, as retreats. But exit is the climax of a story. It is a moment of propulsion, rather than retreat.
— Notes from a talk by MacArthur Prize-winning Harvard sociologist Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot at Los Angeles Main Library, 2012
Welcome to the 50th issue of Blessing the Sea, my dear friends!
I retired in June from Los Angeles City College after teaching ESL and linguistics for 20 years. It’s not a complete separation but rather a scaling down as I intend to continue to teach linguistics courses there on a part-time basis. This life change, however, will allow me to fully focus on my writing and speaking career, which, as you may be aware from this newsletter, has taken over my energy and my time – my Act IV.
Act I was music, namely, studying musicology, music technology, music composition and production in Moscow, Stanford, San Francisco, Paris, and Los Angeles, and ended sometime in my late 20s.
Act II was 11 years spent working in PR and marketing, starting at Stanford and finishing at Cal Poly Pomona.
Teaching ESL and linguistics was my Act III. Those were my most fulfilling years, spent helping so many students to build their academic writing skills, transition into universities, and start meaningful careers. As a sociolinguist, I published widely and presented at international conferences. All in all, I had a good run, and I’m thankful for it.
Now the curtain is going up for Act IV, but what’s interesting is that even though each act had it its own finale, they would always overlap.
My last semester teaching full-time was hectic as usual, but also quite emotional, especially in the ESL courses. Every time we’d finish a unit in the Advanced ESL Writing and Grammar course, which I’d taught no less than 60 times, I felt that I was letting go of a part of me, something precious. “Now they know passive causative… Now they know how to write contrast/comparison essays… Now they know basic terms of literary analysis…”
This class will end, I thought, they will move on, and this time, so will I.
On the day of their final, I brought in a cart with the English dictionaries (the writing test is strictly paper and pencil, no phones or other electronic devices), but also a striped Cat in the Hat hat, a keepsake from working in cancer center marketing in my previous Act. Students would drop their names into the hat, from which I’d pull out the winners for the stacks of short story anthologies I’d amassed in my office from teaching reading courses. I would no longer need them, but students could still benefit.
We took photos, and students presented me with a card from the class.
Later the same day, my faculty colleagues took me and Jonathan out to lunch at my favorite restaurant nearby in Los Feliza. They toasted me and I sang, half-jokingly, the Motley Crue song: “I’m on my way / Just set me free / home sweet home.”
It is bittersweet, or more precisely, sad and validating, to know that someone will miss you.
At home and at Shabbat services, I prayed fervently to G-d for a smooth transition to the next Act. Yet, that next act was already underway. Here is a short round-up of my last 2 months:
Public talk about adoption in the Jewish tradition at the Temple Beth Am / IKAR Shavuot event
Discussing emotional challenges of foster adoption on the podcast It’s Both: Living in the Messy Middle
Speaking at the opening of a new library at the LGBTQ+ Center of Long Beach.
A featured Pride Month talk at the Alpert JCC about our family journey and my book
A live, in-studio interview on KLBP-FM, a local public radio station
“A good exit has a performance, a ceremony,” Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot said at her talk quoted above. “Such rituals and rites need to be expressive and soulful. To end well, mark it, name it, attend to it, let others know about it.” Her mother, she added, had always told her that her favorite view was of her children’s backs – as they go out into the world.
Please wish me good luck in my next act and keep in touch. Warm regards,
–Lane
PS. For more of Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot’s insight on life transitions, please read her book Exit: The Endings That Set Us Free.
Lane Igoudin | Author, Professor, Dad 