Mombian review of AFM

Delighted by a meticulously written and thoughtful review on Mombian, a popular LGBTQ parenting site, and the book’s inclusion in its online database of LGBTQ family books.

Calling A Family, Maybe a “heartfelt memoir,” the review suggests that “other foster parents (and prospective ones) may appreciate the sheer amount of detail he provides, which may offer insights on a practical or emotional level.”

It concludes with the following: “While rights for same-sex couples have advanced since the time of Lane’s daughters’ fostering (helped in part by the family stories that he and Jonathan, along with many others, submitted to various courts), there is still need for further change. Similarly, the need for reform of the foster care system remains urgent. Stories like this one show us why—but may also offer hope and help to others who are in the midst of similar experiences.”

I couldn’t agree more.

Book launch in Portland

A Family, Maybe‘s Feb. 13 launch at Bishop & Wilde at Tin House was a blast! My publisher, Ooligan Press is based at Portland State University, so it was only natural that we would start there.

The launch party started with the book signing, continued with an interview with the moderator, then a short reading, then more Q&A, then more signing. I am deeply thankful to Janeth Hernandez of Ooligan Press, who not only interviewed me but also managed a million details behind the scenes, all the Oolies on and offsite who made it happen, and Tyler of Bishop & Wilde, who hosted the launch in his warm, welcoming space.

I left Portland with unforgettable memories, and the launch attendees with the signed copies of AFM, which I hope they will enjoy.

The launch party followed the two talks I gave at Portland State University about the book the previous day.

The Pacific Sentinel, Portland State’s student-run magazine, covered the launch and the history of the book in a special feature in its April edition.

I am so honored by the reception the book received in Portland. Our LA launch is scheduled for June 14 at Book Soup on Sunset, and there will be other book-related events before and after. Stay tuned!

Two writing talks at Portland State

On Feb. 12, I gave talks in 2 courses on non-fiction writing and manuscrupt development at Portland State University, whose teaching press, Ooligan, is the publisher of my memoir A Family, Maybe.

In one talk in particular, an earlier editor of my book, Kelly Morrison, and I went over the details of collaborating on manuscript edting and development of AFM, what we kept, what we changed, and what we chose to let go of. (Talk about 400 changes and revisions in just one draft!) In both courses, the questions PSU students asked were deep and stimulating, and made me think about my book in some new ways.

In addition, I took part in Ooligan’s executive committee meeting, led by the press publisher Robyn Crummer. At this meeting, itself part of a publishing course, publishing gradstudents (about 40 of them) reported on different book projects that are working on. It gave me a great glimpse of the inner workings of a trade press.

During this intensive, 3-course campus visit, I learned a lot about teaching publishing, the knowledge I’ll be taking back to my college.

PS. Isn’t that a great mural painted on the wall of a PSU garage?

Focusing on justice for adoptive families in a radio interview

Cincinnati-based Rodney Lear interviewed me on his syndicated radio “Sunday Morning Magazine” alongside Angie Thomas, a NYT-bestselling author of The Hate U Give, and gun control activist Whitney Austin. The show aired on 4 radio stations on Feb. 4: WKRQ-FM (101.9) and WYGY-FM (97.3) and 6:00 a.m. on WUBE-FM (105.1) and WREW-FM (94.9).

This 20-minute conversation about my memoir A Family, Maybe has been the best so far – mostly because of Rodney’s unscripted questions, aiming to get our story down in all its drama and details. In talking to him, I realized how much my quest to get the story out is really about justice for adoptive families. Our families are viewed as ‘less than’ while committing themselves to the kids we are taking in. I refuse to accept that and demand that respect, compassion, and resources be given as much to adoptive families, who are actually raising the kids, as to other parties in this process. The disempowering, marginalizing scenes like one in my book when we, the foster adoptive parents of a child who’d been with us longer than with her birth family, are thrown out of the courtroom when demanding to be part of the process must never happen.

Listen at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lane-igoudin-2-4-2024/id1342250552?i=1000700117644

AFM’s opening chapter shared by LGBTQ Nation

PROUD to see an excerpt from my memoir shared by LGBTQ Nation, ‘the world’s most followed LGBTQ media source’. I edited the opening chapter to fit the requested size, and the resulting post, “Curbside delivery: 2 dads confront the heart-wrenching foster system as a baby arrives at their door” reads as a complete, cohesive essay. Take a look!

Interviewed on NBC’s “Daytime” show (WFLA-TV)

Jonathan and I were just interviewed about our family journey depicted in my memoir A Family, Maybe. The 5-minute conversation was very warm. The “Daytime” show hosts Maggie Rodriguez and Farron Hipp (an adoptive mother herself) asked us questions about the joys and pitfalls of the foster adoptive process, and whether it has changed over the years, illustrating our interview with the family photos appearing in the book. Jon described our family building journey as the most important experience of his life, and I ended the interview by saying, “We are so blessed.”

Titled “A Family, Maybe shares the true tale of love and legal struggles met by one couple hoping to adopt,” the TV segment went live on Friday, Jan. 26 and was also shared on the WFLA website. Check it out!

Interviewed on “NY and NJ’s #1 Drive Time Morning Show”

Earlier today, I spoke live about my book A Family, Maybe on “The Frank Truatt Morning Show: NY and NJ’s #1 Drive Time Morning Show.” Frank’s co-host Taylor and I chatted for about 10 minutes about our family’s foster/adoptive journey depicted in the book, and the social issues it brings up. The segment aired on 4 radio channels during morning commute: WTBQ (AM 1110; FM 93.5) and WGHT (AM 1500; FM 98.3).

Interviewed by The Impactful Parent podcast

Delighted to be interviewed by the parenting coach Kristina Campos on her popular parenting app, podcast, and YouTube channel The Impactful Parent. In this 35-minute episode, which went live today, I summarize some of the takeaways from our foster adoptive experience.

So here it is, “5 Things You Need to Know before You Foster to Adopt,” as a podcast and a YouTube video.

The interview itself left me with a surprising takeaway. It made me realize how universal the parenting struggles are, no matter how you build your family, naturally or adoptively, and how the parenting lessons achieved through adoptive experience are just as broadly applicable to any type of parenting.

New “Foster / Adoptive Parent Resources” page

As a parent, writer, and speaker, I have engaged over the years with some excellent organizations, sites, and other resources that serve current and prospective adoptive parents. I am sharing some of them on a new “Foster/Adoptive Parent Resources” page and will continue to update as times goes on.

“Am Yisrael Chai: Essays, Poems, and Prayers” review in Jewish News

Earlier today, the Jewish News of Northern California published my book review of an anthology of poetry and essays in response to the tragic events of October 7.

Am Yisrael Chai is a very special book. I describe it as

“… raw, unvarnished and often uncomfortable to read, but that’s why its testimony is so powerful: It is a reflection that itself is an experience.

There will be time in the future to process, to contextualize the events and to compartmentalize the pain, but right now, these writers, poets, and liturgists are bearing witness to what is [. . .] “

This is my first Jewish News book review. My previous two (of Toibin’s The Magician and Ryziński’s Foucault in Warsaw) came out in Lambda Literary Review.