“Three Years in the Maybe” is the title of the episode in which therapist Nikki Piispanen is interviewing me on her podcast It’s Both: Living in the Messy Middle.
It’s Both is described as: “Top 5% podcast globally. For people exhausted by the pressure to pick one feeling, one answer, one way forward. We explore what happens when you let more than one thing be true at the same time.”
Here is a short fragment from the interview.
For the full episode, click here.
The Shochet, (Touro U. Press, 2023-2025), is a rare, complex, and important document of life in the Pale of Settlement in the late 19th – early 20th century. I came across the book by accident and felt a particular affinity for it when it mentioned the shtetl near the Ukrainian / Bessarabian border where my grandparents were born.
In The Shochet, Pinye-Ber Goldenshteyn recounts his tumultuous life journey as an orphan and later a working shochet (kosher slaughterer) in Podolia, Bessarabia, and Crimea. Through a myriad of rich details of his narrative and juicy stories, we get to observe the dramatic transformation of the Pale in the 1860s-1910s. The poor, oppressed, but generally stable Jewish way of life that Goldenshteyn is born into is within a few decades taken apart and ultimately destroyed by the rising nationalism, secularism, and revolutionary socialism. This historical drama also unfolds in Goldenshteyn’s own family as most of his children abandon strict religious observance in favor of modern lifestyles and relationships.
Goldenshteyn’s memoir is one of the first surviving Yiddish-language autobiographies, but it had only appeared in English in short excerpts. The 2-volume edition which I am reviewing in Tablet is its first complete English translation.
The Shochet is unique as well in being penned not by a famous and secularized Jew, the two categories usually going together, but by someone from the ranks of the poor and traditional mass of Jews who populated the Pale. His depictions are folksy and candid, and as such are often more effective, even devastating at times, exactly because of their unvarnished candidness.
You can read my full review here or by following the link below.
A reflective conversation on The Making of Me, a podcast focused on personal growth and life-shaping moments. This is also my first interview in Nigeria!
Listen at https://apple.co/4lOR9Qb .
If you’ve ever considered adoption, especially through the foster system, this candid conversation with Lane Igoudin, author and adoptive parent, will inspire and inform you.
Lane shares his three-year journey to keep his family together, revealing the unique challenges of navigating the foster system, building a family as an LGBTQ parent, and the emotional rollercoaster that comes with intentional parenting.
From profound lessons in resilience, mindfulness, and the beauty of everyday moments—this episode is packed with insight and heart.
Lane also opens up about writing his memoir A Family Maybe, and what he wishes he had known at the start.
This story is for anyone seeking a raw, hopeful look at adoption, family, and what it means to truly show up for those you love. Grab your copy of “A Family Maybe” on Amazon, Bookshop, or your favorite retailer.
Thrilled to be part of Pen Parentis’s recent “Fluid Boundaries” Salon – a panel of writers who are also parents!
How do working writers manage parenthood?
In Pen Parentis Spring 2026 Season Opener “FLUID BOUNDARIES,” successful authors address issues of work-life balance, writing craft, and current publishing landscape, and read excerpts from their works.
Taped February 10, 2026, the Salon features:
• Ching-In Chen, Winner of Judith A. Markowitz Award, Lambda Literary
• Priya Hutner, Co-Founder of the Tahoe Literary Festival
• Lane Igoudin, Andrew W. Mellon Fellow, EPIC / UCLA Humanities
• Terese Svoboda, Guggenheim Fellow and the Graywolf Nonfiction Prize Winner
• Moderators: M. M. De Voe and Marina Aris
Funded by generous support from Poets & Writers, the New York City Department of Cultural Affairs, New York State Council on the Arts, The de Groot Foundation, and the episode sponsor Studiolo Secondari – THANK YOU!
All Pen Parentis programs help writers who have kids. We build and support in-person and online writer-parent communities to encourage the production of new, high-quality written work, and we offer individual aid to these writers whenever possible. Check us out online and watch the Panel here.
PS. On a personal note, I am much indebted to Pen Parentis, specifically, to the writers’ group led by Laura Wheatman Hill, where we meet weekly to set writing goals for the week and report on our progress. It’s a very warm, supportive community of writing parents which holds me accountable to keep working, keep writing.
Jewish parenting values I learned throughout our foster-adoptive family journey was the central theme of my talk at the historic Temple Beth El of San Pedro, California.
I had a lot to share and quite a few sources to bring in. Here are just a couple of Midrashic soures on the Jewish view of adoption.
In discussing why Moses, raised by the Pharaoh’s daughter, is later on referred to in the Torah as being yaldeah (‘her child’). Gemara asks, “Why ‘yaldeah’? Pharaoh’s daughter bore Moses? But didn’t she only raise him? Rather it tells you that anyone who raises an orphan boy or girl in his house, is given the credit as if he gave birth to him.”
(Megilla 13A).After saying to Moses, “I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious” (Exodus 33:19), [G-d] showed him all the storehouses of reward that are designated for the righteous.
Moses asked, “Who does this storehouse belong to?”
“It belongs to those who perform mitzvot,” replied G-d.
“And who does this storehouse belong to?”
“It belongs to those who raise orphans.”
(Midrash Rabbah 46)
My talk was part of a fundraising community dinner, which followed Friday night services. As part of it, I read from my book, answered questions, and signed a few books (though not sold them because it was after the start of Shabbat).
And as always, a few attendees stayed on to share with me their own adoptive experiences, and I listened, listened, and listened.
I read “Of Love and Borscht” at the SWM Writers Showcase, a 2-hour show of local writers in Palos Verdes last weekend. My oddball piece, an essay based on a chapter from A Family, Maybe and republished by the food blog One Potato, fit in well with a line-up that ranged from speculative fiction to interactive Old English poetry to a singing trio (!!!). Thank you, Southwest Manuscripters, for putting it all together.
🎥Watch my 6-minute reading here. (Recorded by Troy Kelley)
Glad to be interviewed on KLBP 99.1 FM – Long Beach public radio station. In 10 minutes, we touched on how, when, and why I wrote the book, and why it matters today. Thank you, Melanie Rae of the “Mornings on the Beach” show for bringing me on.
Click here to listen.
Ending the year with an interview on a unique podcast which explores the ways to encounter and nurture your creative spirit. (It’s also one of my favorite podcasts to listen to!). Thanks to the incredibly empathic host Whitney Ann, it’s probably one of my most raw, funny, and in-the-moment interviews.
Unconditioning: Discovering the Voice Within with Whitney Ann Jenkins
Episode 118. Lane Igoudin: Authentic Tales of an Adoptive Father (48 min.)
Unconditioning: Discovering the Voice Within is an exploration of the inner authentic voice. Each week, host Whitney Ann Jenkins, joins guests in conversation about how they‘ve followed this voice throughout their lives, and the challenges and the rewards that have come from staying true to themselves in the current climate of the world.
Whitney Ann Jenkins is a multi-passionate creative and artist: award winning actress of stage, film, and voice over, singer-songwriter, and playwright. She is also a certified Energy Healer, Integrative Wellness Coach, Master of Psychology, and currently pursuing her PhD in Humanistic Psychology. Her research focuses specifically on the boundaries and mental wellness of performing artists alongside the intersection of creativity and sexuality.
The annual Uptown Village Market in Bixby Knolls, Long Beach, on December 5 was busy and fun. This was my first time doing it among other 65 artisans and creatives.
I sold a few books, but more importantly, talked to dozens of people about our journey. It’s amazing the kinds of conversations and stories that open up when you share your own.
Earlier this year, I had a great opportunity to be a guest on the fatherhood podcast “Great Dad Talks,” hosted by Paul Banas, parenting coach and publisher of Pregnancy Magazine. Our conversation explored many facets of modern fatherhood, including how to be a present and mindful parent as well as navigate the complexities of racial and cultural identity in a diverse family.
Episode Description
Ep. 130 “Adoption and Equality with Lane Igoudin“
In this episode of Great Dad Talks, special guest Lane Igoudin explores his unique journey as a father. Lane shares his experiences as an adoptive parent, detailing the complexities of raising two daughters in a diverse household. From navigating legal challenges before marriage equality to balancing various cultural and racial dynamics, Lane’s story is both inspiring and insightful.
Lane also discusses the importance of intentional parenting, the role of role models, and how he and his husband have integrated ethnic heritages into their children’s lives. In this heartwarming and candid conversation, you’ll gain valuable perspectives on modern fatherhood and the intricate dynamics of a multi-racial and multi-faith family.
Listen here.
Lane Igoudin | Author, Professor, Dad