[Curiosity] requires that we pause in our desires to act or move on. Rather, we give ourselves over to listening and asking questions, to noticing and exploring. In pausing, we create a space for wonder and growth.
—Dr. Bill Robinson, “The Middah [Trait] of Curiosity”
Dear Friends,
I’ve fallen a little behind on writing this newsletter as my activities have focused on the upcoming release of my memoir A Family, Maybe. The publishing process has a million steps, all of which are new to me, and I’ve been learning fast, working with the press and the publicist to prepare the book for the launch.
I am not scared, nor am I nervous. Most of all, I am curious.
Curiosity, I found, is a wonder-ful (pardon the pun) response to the uncertainty inherent in any life situation. We try to control what we don’t know, afraid of what might happen. Curiousity counters our fear of the unknown.
In a Torah portion we read several weeks ago, Joseph, falsely accused and imprisoned in Egypt, notices that his two fellow prisoners, Pharaoh’s courtiers, look upset.
“Why do you appear downcast today?” he asks. They reply that they are bothered by strange, inexplicable dreams. Joseph offers his interpretation, foretelling their future, and it proves to be true (Genesis 40).
Later, through one of these courtiers, the word of Joseph’s gift for explaining dreams reaches Pharaoh, and leads to Joseph’s release from prison, becoming the vice-king of Egypt, reconnecting with his family, saving it from starvation, and so on.
Joseph noticed, he asked questions, he offered interpretation – all without judgment or deep attachment. In the end, his curiosity set him on a life-changing path.
Had I not, while still finishing my book, joined the P&W LA Writers’ Roundtable in 2018, had I not learned there, from the poet Carla Sameth, about AWP, a literary conference which attracts many indie and university presses, had I not attended AWP 2019 in Portland and walked away with six requests for the manuscript, my book wouldn’t have gotten off the ground.
And now, with each step of the process, from developmental edits to line edits to the cover design to the interior layout to learning to speak in front of the camera or boil down a life experience to a few meaningful nuggets, I am curious about how each step is done, and where it’s going to take the project next. I follow this path without judgement or expectation. Things will unfold as they will, or, if you are faithful, as He wills it.
A quick round-up of my news in the last couple of months.
I was interviewed by a popular parenting podcast, app, and YouTube channel The Impactful Parent. The resulting 35-minute episode, which went live Jan. 11, summarizes some of the takeaways from our experience adopting kids from foster care.
The interview itself left me with new takeaways: parenting struggles are universal, no matter how you build your family, naturally or adoptively, and parenting lessons achieved through adoptive experience are just as broadly applicable to any type of parenting.
I was also interviewed about A Family, Maybe on “NY and NJ’s #1 Drive Time Morning Show.” The show host and I chatted live for about 10 minutes, all very pleasant. The interview aired live during morning commute on the East Coast on four radio channels: WTBQ (AM 1110; FM 93.5) and WGHT (AM 1500; FM 98.3).
At the Holiday Get Together of the LA Chapter of the Authors Guild, I read “Postcards to a Stranger,” a new piece about meeting my husband Jon the same day I met President Clinton’s family oh-so-many years ago, the two events intertwined.
I joined Pen Parentis, a grassroots organization supporting writers who are parents. We meet weekly to help each other set and review short- and long-term goals. This way, we hold one another accountable to write more. I can’t recommend it enough.
Lastly, and probably most importantly, the Jewish News of Northern California published my book review of Am Yisrael Chai, an anthology of poetry and essays in response to the tragic events of October 7.
It’s a very special book. I describe it as “raw, unvarnished and often uncomfortable to read, but that’s why its testimony is so powerful: It is a reflection that itself is an experience. There will be time in the future to process, to contextualize the events and to compartmentalize the pain, but right now, these writers, poets, and liturgists are bearing witness to what is…” Take a look.
In the midst of the continuing war against Hamas, may it end soon, I noted some encouraging news.
One is that Israel’s High Court ruled to allow same-sex couples to adopt children. This is wonderful because it allows more couples like ours to have a family, and sets an important precedent in the region.
And another is that in the Diaspora and Israel, rabbis see a surge in interest in conversion to Judaism since – and because of – October 7. As a recent convert explains, “when it feels like the world is just crumbling . . . you think about the importance of just spreading light during this time, and creating community, which are all huge parts of Judaism, then it feels like you are doing something.”
May we see the light spread as the year progresses. May we all face the future with curiosity. Warm regards,
-Lane
Lane Igoudin | Author, Professor, Dad 