The annual Uptown Village Market in Bixby Knolls, Long Beach, on December 5 was busy and fun. This was my first time doing it among other 65 artisans and creatives.
I sold a few books, but more importantly, talked to dozens of people about our journey. It’s amazing the kinds of conversations and stories that open up when you share your own.
Earlier this year, I had a great opportunity to be a guest on the fatherhood podcast “Great Dad Talks,” hosted by Paul Banas, parenting coach and publisher of Pregnancy Magazine. Our conversation explored many facets of modern fatherhood, including how to be a present and mindful parent as well as navigate the complexities of racial and cultural identity in a diverse family.
Episode Description
Ep. 130 “Adoption and Equality with Lane Igoudin“
In this episode of Great Dad Talks, special guest Lane Igoudin explores his unique journey as a father. Lane shares his experiences as an adoptive parent, detailing the complexities of raising two daughters in a diverse household. From navigating legal challenges before marriage equality to balancing various cultural and racial dynamics, Lane’s story is both inspiring and insightful.
Lane also discusses the importance of intentional parenting, the role of role models, and how he and his husband have integrated ethnic heritages into their children’s lives. In this heartwarming and candid conversation, you’ll gain valuable perspectives on modern fatherhood and the intricate dynamics of a multi-racial and multi-faith family.
Listen at https://dub.sh/greatdad
“A court drama that became a personal memoir” was the title of the talk I gave to my alma mater alumni club here in LA on October 26, 2025. In it, I reflected on the issues facing the child welfare system in Los Angeles, challenges of adopting from foster care, and writing a memoir which intersects family history with pressing social issues.
My parenting journey, as I mentioned during the talk, actually began at Stanford. Back in 1996, working a student job at Stanford News Service, I came across a magazine article about gay families.
I saw the answer right in front of me. I knew it would be my story too.
My SCPV talk went for about an hour, followed by the Q&A, which, unexpectedly, extended into another hour. Half the attendees, it turned out, had already read my book, while some were adoptive parents themselves!
Clearly, we had plenty to share and discuss.
And I signed some books as well!
Thank you, Stanford Club of Palos Verdes, for a great event!
Exploring modern fatherhood in conversation with Max Evans and Nicholas Westerfer, moderated by Patrick Erlandson, founder of the educational nonprofit Father-Con. We discussed the challenges of being a Dad today, how it informs our writing, what being a parent taught us, and what we could do to be better as Dads. A truly motivational experience.
Signing books before and after at my booth.
Janet Fitch (White Oleander, Paint It Black, The Revolution of Marina M.) stopped by my booth! Her original endorsement of the draft of A Family, Maybe helped to launch it into the world. I feel so very grateful to her.
Bruce Dalzell, a contemporary folk singer / songwriter from Ohio, wrote this song after reading A Family, Maybe. He came on to perform it during my interview on The Anna Jinja Show, and my jaw hit the floor. I had no idea! I just thought he’d be playing some background music.
Watch the video of “Future” here:
Bruce used the closing sentence of my book “In our kids’ laughter, I heard our future” for the song’s chorus.
I am very much moved by this beautiful song. Thank you, Bruce.
The show aired on several radio stations including WOUB (NPR), (Pacifica Network), STAR 107, and Radio St. Pete 86.7 FM. You can listen to the full episode at https://dub.sh/woub .
“Future” by Bruce Dalzell
You came to me
like a dream in the night
I don’t know how, I don’t know why
I came to you after years and tears
Looked up from my life and you were there
Through the bedroom door so sweet and pure
Little voice in song
I hear the future.
A face like the moon, smile like the sun
Step like a dance we’ve just begun
Without shame, without fear
In a laugh like music
It’s the future I hear
With your first step I said slow down
Running up the stair I said slow down
You just got here, please slow down
All too soon I know you’ll be gone
In this ringing silence life will go on
For a bursting heart
there is no cure
In a quiet house I hear the future.
Our deep, densely-packed, and dynamic conversation on The Anna Jinja Show, the #1 adoption podcast in the country, aired last week on 4 radio stations, including WOUB-FM (NPR), KHOI 89.1 FM (Pacifica Radio), STAR 107 FM, and Radio St.Pete 86.7 FM.
Listen at https://dub.sh/woub .
The Anna Jinja Show focuses on the stories, issues, and questions connected to adoption and foster care experiences.
**********
EPISODE NOTES
From Heartache to Hope
Our latest episode brings together three extraordinary voices for a conversation that will change how you think about adoption, family, and resilience.
Meet Lane Igoudin, the author whose memoir “A Family Maybe” chronicles his and partner Jonathan’s journey through the Los Angeles County foster care system – the largest in the nation with 30,000 children. Lane’s raw, honest account reveals the emotional rollercoaster of emergency placements, court battles, and the painful uncertainty that foster families endure.
Meet Rita Soronen, President and CEO of the Dave Thomas Foundation, who brings decades of expertise to explain why Lane’s story matters and what needs to change in our child welfare system.
And meet Bruce Dalzell, the gifted musician who was so moved by Lane’s story that he composed an original song titled “Future” – a haunting tribute to the universal experience of parenting and hope.
Why This Episode Will Move You
This isn’t just another adoption story. It’s a masterclass in resilience that reveals:
•The shocking realities inside America’s largest foster care system
•How love persists despite institutional barriers
•Why advocates say the system hasn’t changed since 2006
•The creative power of storytelling to drive social change
Lane’s memoir reads “like a made-for-TV story” according to Rita, filled with layers of family history, cultural identity, and the complex intersection of LGBTQ+ adoption rights. Yet it’s painfully real – a testament to the thousands of families fighting for permanency every day.
“In this powerful episode, writer and father Lane Igoudin reveals the painful flaws of the foster system and the quiet strength needed to protect his family. This inspiring adoption story proves love always finds a way.”
– Podcast host James Walters, A Joyful Rebellion
A wonderful experience sharing our story in an interview with on A Joyful Rebellion, a podcast / YouTube channel that “explores the moment you realize the life and success you worked so hard to create didn’t come with all of the fulfillment you thought it would. Each week, we attempt to inspire bold answers to the question, “What do I do now to create a life I love?”’
From the episode description:
What if the system tried to tear your family apart?
In this powerful episode of A Joyful Rebellion, writer, professor, and father Lane Igoudin shares the deeply human story behind his memoir A Family, Maybe.
Lane and his husband Jonathan were among the first generation of out gay couples to adopt through the foster system in Los Angeles County. What followed was a three-year legal and emotional rollercoaster that tested their resolve, their relationship, and their sense of justice.
We talk about the failures of the child welfare system, the invisible labor of parenting under legal threat, and what it really means to create family—not just legally, but spiritually and emotionally. Lane opens up about raising two daughters, navigating stigma, building community, and the quiet strength it takes to hold your family together when others have the power to pull it apart.
Don’t miss the full story — watch it on YouTube today!
Also available on:
Amazon: https://music.amazon.com/…/a-joyful-rebellion-two-dads…
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/7d5ub8Jdx8cSHV8Tqis1VS…
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/…/two-dads…/id1698316024…
At the end of June, an important, disturbing decision came down from the US Supreme Court concerning LGBTQ-themed books in public schools. Here’s my op-ed piece published by Los Angeles Blade, America’s longest-running gay newspaper, about its wide-reaching consequences.
PS. I am particularly glad to see it appearing both online and in print. It is so rare these days to actually hold a piece of text. Please click below to read it.
A memorable one-hour interview: a heated but friendly debate about state-run child welfare (we really got into it!). What’s inspiring is how much these issues concern all of us, no matter the background. Thanks, Jey Young, for bringing me on your show!
Welcome into the Young Dad Pod, Ep. 234 —whether you’re folding laundry, wiping mashed bananas off the ceiling, or quietly googling ‘how to be a good dad’ in the middle of the night—thank you for being here.
Today’s guest is Lane Igoudin—dad, professor, and author of the memoir A Family, Maybe, which tells the powerful story of how he and his partner Jonathan became a family through the foster care system—while fighting for equality as gay parents in pre-marriage-equality America. Lane’s story is about more than paperwork and parenting—it’s about love, identity, resilience, and how we protect what matters most.”
Click to view [ https://dub.sh/YoungDad ]
An interview which zeroes in on “the balancing act between the rights of parents and what’s best for children.”
So glad for the opportunity to share our story on Jayson Blair’s podcast which aims to “peel back life’s layers to find the depth, beauty, joy, suffering and struggles that become the silver linings.”
Listen at https://bit.ly/3HPGfKl (70 minutes, audio only)
Silver Linings Handbook | Episode 154
Lane Igoudin, a writer, activist, and professor, joins me to discuss the challenges of adopting his children from foster care, the challenges of navigating intersectionality in this world, the balancing act between the rights of parents and what’s best for children, and love under pressure as you fight to keep your family together.
Lane’s memoir A Family, Maybe is available on Amazon and Bookshop. Visit www.laneigoudin.com/afm for more information about his book.
Lane Igoudin | Author, Professor, Dad