My essay about entering the empty-nesting stage of parenting appears in this week’s Jewish Journal, barely a few days after we dropped off our younger daughter at her campus. (And yes, that’s her in one of the photos, opening the door to her dorm, and to her future).
To me, parenting and spirituality are interwoven in that one informs the other: I attempt to bring what I learn from my religious and mindful practices into how I raise my kids, yet the experience of raising them has also taught me a great deal about wisdom and ethics. In that sense, my daughters have been my spiritual teachers. Now that this experience is taking on a new shape, I find myself adrift and searching for answers and comfort, which is what this essay is about.
I’ve been clutching to the idea that my kids would always live with me, that I would always direct and control their lives to their benefit, and be able to protect them from the dangers of this world. This would be . . . selfish as it would really primarily benefit me, prolonging the familiar and comfortable parent-child relationship we had when they were kids, rather than letting it evolve into a more mature bond between a parent and an adult child.
I’ve been clutching to the idea that my kids would always live with me, that I would always direct and control their lives to their benefit, and be able to protect them from the dangers of this world. This would be . . . selfish as it would really primarily benefit me, prolonging the familiar and comfortable parent-child relationship we had when they were kids, rather than letting it evolve into a more mature bond between a parent and an adult child. [. . .]
You can read the online version of the essay here. In the print edition, it takes up page 24 of the issue. Those of you who subscribe to my monthly Jewish mindfulness newsletter, Blessing the Sea, will recognize some of the reflections in the essay.
Lane Igoudin | Author, Professor, Dad 